Random Thoughts

Monday, January 23, 2006

Hola! ;) When i woke up this morning i was just thnking of sum1 sgnifcant in my life. And i went to friendster checking anything what could intertain me and just going through several profiles. And i just cant help myself to check sum1 out.. And thoughts just running to and fro in my mind, it sort of slapped me in the face, ouch! that hurts! Thats the thing, it "HURT".... I just rmmberd some incident, about 2 months ago.. But duh! Its over... But then i just cant forget it. When i think of it emotions are stirring inside me... Hate, anger, pain, thought of revenge... And every bad feeling... But well, i have to live my life.. It would be a big waste to be stuck on it. I know a lot of people treasure me.. :) And i have my life to live. Hey! Duh! Why am i still blabbing about this things when in fact everything's okay now. I guess thats what others think and thats what i made him to believe. But in fact its still there. The scar is still there, its not totally healed. But im healing, im fixing myself. I wanna bring back the same love i had before, b4 that happend. I also thought im now okay, but when i think of it.. It makes me wanna leave everything that reminds me of the pain, including him. But hey! I love him.... Thats for sure, leaving would be a hundred folds painful.. Thats why parekoi im still here. I don't know if ur checking me out here, but i hope ud be able to read this. Hmmm.... oh well.. Smtimes im just like this.. I make people believe im okay, i dont know.. I also make myself believe everythngs okay, everythng has been settled down.. But its not that easy. When im alone thinking about that very moment how much pain i have endured, it do really pisses me off.But well it makes me smile too... Kasi i nver thought everything would still be ok. I mean him and me still together. Trying to forget things. I really thought we'd be over as in over na. No more explanations and stuffs that would bring back what we had b4. But nagpadala parin kasi ako.. Duh! Stupid me! But we tried. And we halfly did it. Its just maybe because i love him, and he love me too. Yes, he had hurt me (that much), but i also had hurt him naman in a diff. way though.. *sigh* where am i going now, am i making a point here????? Wala lng tlga akong mgawa.... Funny, im writing all this details about me. Its not that i want the public to know whats going on with my life but i just wanna express myself. Not minding what people would say or comment. Just live your own life in the way you think you can. Dont criticize me. :) Because im just living my life too.. Peace ya'll! Got to go... ^-^

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