They Call It a Fling. Almost bUt not qUite.

Tuesday, August 05, 2008


They work together in an ad agency. After office, they would watch movie, have dinner and stroll at Glorietta. She gave him Harry Potter books for his birthday in exchange for posing as her boyfriend to make an ex jealous. They made out during the company outing in Subic and never talked about it. He said "I love you" once but she wasn't sure if she heard him correctly because they were both drunk then. But one thing she is sure of is her feelings for him. She likes him. And she's assuming that with what he's doing to her and with her, he likes her, too. There's just one hitch: he has a girlfriend!

She is a 28-year-old virgin. He's a 35-year-old bachelor. Both mountaineers, they became close during their climbs. After a few dates in posh restaurants, he brings her to his condo where they would make out. They have been doing this for months. She wants to believe that "sila na" but then she's not really sure about it. "We don't talk about it but it doesn't really matter," she'd tell her friends. "What's important is I am enjoying this -- whatever it is."

Flings. Almost like a relationship, but not quite. It is a phase where the persons involvement with each other are more than friends, but not quite lovers. there might be a verbal agreement, there might be none. One or both of you may have admitted your feelings, or don't care at all. You just let your gestures do the talking for you. there's no formal courting. you're not a lover. but your actions tells that there's something going on. This kind of "relationship" can happen at different stages for different reasons.

For those who are not in a serious relationship, they would think that pseudo-relationship is better than no relationship at all. It would be fun, if all of you are after for the "kilig" feelings only.

i admit there were times, i do have pseudo-relationships. MU-MU kuno. No commitments involved. For the simplest reason that they couldn't commit, because they were either committed to someone else, or that they weren't ready to commit yet.perhaps they're not into serious relationships and so am i.

My rationalization, "its better than none".. But then I learned that although it was only a pseudo-relationship, the emotions were real. And usually, in this kind of set up, ended up broken hearted.its difficult when you agreed to this kind of set up for fun and then you'd end up hurting yourself in the process. the best thing you're going to do to escape from hurting is that:you need not to think of the future and enjoy the feeling today;don't think of the consequences;don't dream with him;specially don't fall in love..

But if you are certain that you are going to hurt yourself in the process, you need to make a choice.You can be happy and live the moment without worrying what would happen next. Or you can stop settling with pseudo-relationships and wait for the real thing. the bottom line is : do what makes you happy. enjoy.pseudo-relationship is fun but you need to prepare yourself for the consequences of falling in love and hurting by your love which is not yours....

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