The Quarter-Life Crisis

Tuesday, November 24, 2009 Bojoy 3 Comments

(you may find yourself holding back on reading this. Yes. it's quite long but I assure you it's a good read and worthy I may say. :003: Could it be that I'm having a quarter life crisis? So many questions in my mind, doubts, fears. Or maybe it's just all in my head. Are you feeling the same way too? Then READ. :017:)

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't know and may or may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realize is that they are realizing that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you would be doing or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared.

You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren't so great after all.

You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to your list of what is acceptable and what is not. You are insecure and then secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad person.

One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap and getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.

You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself and while wining the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

Force yourself to snap the hell out of it. Sort of. Decide that a predetermined-cookie-cutter spot just simply doesn’t exist for you in this world. Feel anxiety, followed by enormous relief. Empower yourself to carve out your own niche. Commit to living life on your own terms. Evaluate what’s been holding you back. Make lists. Lists upon lists. Hundreds of lists. Finally quit camp. Give up your entire safety net. Temporarily move in with your parents in Arizona. Realize how badly you want to travel and write. Make up your mind to just fucking do it already. Stop making excuses. Start putting money and resources where your big, loud mouth is. Get scared. Talk it out with people who love you. Realize that despite your often bizarre, alternative lifestyle choices, there are a wonderfully heart breaking amount of people who love you. Commit to daily gratitude.

Stop comparing your life to every other life. Know that the best that you can do is the best that you can do. Compose a personal mission statement. Try to make one good decision after another. Stumble. Beat yourself up over your mistakes. Take pause. Vow to be nicer to yourself. Grasp desperately for perspective.

Continue the daily climb up and down the crazy ledge. Think that with all that climbing, you’d better have a damn fine ass by the time you turn 25. :017:

3 lovable comments:

Hi Bojoy,
You seem to be lost because you view life with you at the center of it. That is why there are so many fears and insecurities. We fear the loss of our control of life and events in our lives. We go through the process of trial and error. Relationships come and go and we seem to be none the worse for them. The antidote to this is to live a purposeful life. If we put God at the very center of our life and do all things in order to please Him and give glory to His name, then we will have peace in our minds and joy in our hearts. We live without fear or anxieties because we hold on to the promises of God. Then the equation in our life changes, from me against the world to God against all my enemies. We turn over to Him all our cares and anxieties and watch as we experience favor from God and from men in our lives. It is the same life but with a different perspective and viewpoint. Thanks for your post. God bless you always.

bOjoy said...

@Mel: thanks kuya mel for sharing ur thoughts! =) god bless u also ♥

Chai said...

loving this post :)